Porno

What does it mean if i can’t get it up for a movie called “Porno?” 

A movie produced by Fangoria, my favorite  horror magazine?! A movie that boasts nudity, gore, jokes and vague devil stuff!? I mean, what more can you ask from cinema? I guess you can ask for coherence, dramatic tension and decent lighting.

Moments like these make me wonder if I’m a “real” horror movie fan. Any true horror fanatic should love this, right? It’s called Porno! And it’s a horror movie! I suppose I should be satisfied with the intense genital gore special effects at the center of the action. The dick dismemberment details were definitely demented, and impressive. But like i always say, “great films need more than realistic penis prosthetics.”

The first 30 minutes are generally entertaining. A group of god-fearing movie theater employees look forward to having an after hours hootenanny in their workplace. But when they discover a trippy devil porno movie, everything goes south. There are a few decent jokes, a few cool visual effects and lots of “who cares” action based on some “who cares” explanation about the “sex demon” they set free. Not funny enough, not sexy enough, not scary enough.

I guess i wasn’t in the mood.

I give it 11 out of 22.

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